As I was sitting reading a very good book called “Meet Mr. Smith” by Eric and Leslie Ludy I had a stunning realization about the way that God honors us in His giving of freewill responsibility to us.
Have you ever thought about the parallels between the Garden of Eden and masturbation? That may seem like a very strange pairing, but I imagine that the more you think about it, the more alike they seem. Let’s think together. In the garden there were two people who were supposed to get everything they needed from a relationship with God and each other. God had made it so that every need was provided for and that there was no separation. They were one. But God does something strange. He puts a temptation at the center of that garden and instructs Adam and Eve to not eat of it.
Now, to those of us who have studied this passage and the concept of freewill, this is a beautiful scene, not a horror movie. While someone who is unattuned to the reality of the foundations for love, namely freewill, they might think that this tree is twisted or even abusive. In reality though, this act of putting a tree in the garden that was forbidden was a way for God to cultivate the necessary conditions for real love to be expressed. Adam and Eve would have to uphold their devotion by obedience, which is the very practical seal of authenticity of love itself. God put Adam and Eve in the garden and, by putting in the opportunity to not love Him through obedience, made the necessary conditions for loving God possible. A freewill act of obedience.
Now think of your body. There’s you, and then there’s your flesh. Dare we say, your penis. You may feel at times like two, but you are one with your member, without any separation. Complete. Your member is a temptation at the center of you, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And God does this thing… he says your member is not for you… it’s for someone else. Don’t touch, it will harm you.
God is setting the necessary conditions for loving Him. A freewill act of obedience (John 14:15).
Now, while you may have thought through that little experiment faster than you could read it, the implications of this realization are stunning to me. God, being not haphazard, saw fit to piece together this body in a way where we could defile Him with it or love Him with it. That was His choice. Why would he do that? Let’s list just a few reasons:
1. Constant Submission to God’s Authority. We cannot deny, having a body that tempts us puts us in perpetual states of decision making. Am I going to listen to God or my body? When I choose my God I come underneath His authority. When I choose my body, I separate myself from Him in experiential ways… such as shame.
2. It is my choice. God has put us in that state of constant questioning so that we may very well exercise our choosing. This means that my sin is my doing, I must take ownership. God has put me in charge of this thing called “my body” and expects me to care for it and use it properly.
3. Guarding my member from defilement is a direct act of love towards God. Every time I say no, I say more than “yes” to Jesus. I say, “I love you” to Jesus! My Lord and my God, I will obey.
Many men have a hard time thinking about this process of addiction recovery as being “freewill”. The truth is, it really is about that! It’s about the conquering of the addiction process by setting your will against it. By the grace of Jesus we are not counting each sin on a scorecard, but instead transforming our free will into something that honors God in our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:12-20).
Can I encourage you? You may think that free will is exactly the problem. That God has forsaken you to a body that will not be tamed and that is destined to shame forever. I tell you, it is the exact opposite. The body you now possess is not a vessel for shame, but a vessel for love. You, reading this, can wrestle your shame to the ground and nail it there so that God be glorified in you. And when He is, a sweet smelling “I love you” rises to God’s presence from your living sacrifice. Do not despise the necessary conditions of love, for without them no good thing could be achieved. When Christ proclaimed freedom to the captives He gave you the chance to do real things, like love.
You were made for this victory. “Wild at Heart” author John Eldridge says that, “every man knows that he is made to come through”. This is exactly the picture I see in my body now. Every time I do not masturbate, but submit my body to the pain of temptation for God’s sake, I am coming through for Him. That is beautiful! That is strong! That is manly. But notice the other side of the coin. I don’t just “not masturbate”. I DO express love to the God of the universe. Purity is a perpetual love note to our Father God.
How far does this go? Well, at the risk of seeming impossible, allow me to reverse engineer one of the most classic passages of love in scripture. In Romans 8: 38-39 we read,
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (ESV)
Do we dare to switch that kind of love around towards God by submitting our bodies to Him? Do you dare to allow the following to apply to you? I pray that devotion of this kind comes your way.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate God from the love I have for Him in Christ Jesus our Lord.
A wise man once said that “the difference between a boy and a man is that a man has learned to lived with delayed gratification”. It’s a powerful truth. Eldridge goes on to remind us that God himself is in the active work of bringing us back into manhood from our fallen state. Where our fathers, mothers and culture have failed, He will not. This process of changing our freewill is the practical way that God moves us back into the men He wants us to be. Will you do that? Will you be willing to refuse all things that would come between you and saying “I love you” to God?
"Meet Mr Smith"
Meet Mr Smith is a powerful analogous presentation of the potential for Godly intimacy and great sex. Veiled in mystery and preeminently focused on the love of God, this book is a delight that will stretch you out of your bounds and into a deeper relationship with the core components of God’s way life. Written by Eric and Leslie Ludy, this book is an inspiring salute to God’s care over your love life.