Pastors
Shepherding the Sexual Addict
What do you do when someone confesses sexual sin? How do you identify an issue of sexual sin? What steps do you take to get men help? Get the best information around and training by professionals who have walked the path of healing! From crash courses for individuals to curriculum-based training for teams, we can get you the resources you need.
The church is in the best position to bring healing to men who are struggling with this isolation based sin. We'd like to be the first to say, thank you for stepping up to bring men back to Christ.
What Can Warfare of Grace Do?
Warfare of Grace is primarily a hands on organization. We specialize in the application of the great work already done by excellent organizations through training, consulting and pastoral accountability and recovery.
Give Resources.
Do you have the tools you need to bring God's grace to your church family? That's our first step. There are a ton of great tools that we can use to get you well equipped to go into battle with grace. In addition, we can show you how to use those tools or how to set up church wide tools for everyone.
Right now, check out our resources page for lots of great material!
Give Understanding
Warfare of Grace understands how to apply the tools that we will be giving to you. Depending on the situation, you may need to implement the tools at a high level in your church, or even take them into small groups programs. We would love to help you with training on how to meet men with grace, support their wives (and families), and to follow a biblical path toward restoration.
Give Direction.
Response protocols can be difficult things. Warfare of Grace is here to help you to think through issues like pastors caught in sexual sin, sexual abuse the sex offender registry
In addition, Warfare of Grace is a confidential place for pastors to start their own recovery process. Healing from sexual addiction needs a safe place, and pastors rarely feel as though they can be immediately honest with their congregations. Warfare of Grace is here to provide that environment of safety for long term healing.
Steps you can take right now.
Want to get off on the right foot? If you are a pastor who needs guidance on how to help someone who is currently in your congregation, then these practices will significantly benefit you right now! If you schedule a discovery call, you can check them out while you are waiting to talk with one of us at Warfare of Grace.
Pray.
Determine your level of investment.
Determine who you need to get invested.
Please let us help you! Warfare of Grace is here to give you counsel and set the stage for a healthy interaction with this painful time.
Addiction recovery looks different for everyone, but there are a few universal realities that everyone must acknowledge. One of them is this: the addict cannot heal alone. Recovery is not done all by oneself as community serves as the foundation for the kind of healing needed! So you, the pastor of the addict, will be expected to be a part of the healing process (although sometimes that is not possible, and rightly so). As such, we need to ask the question: what about your church family?
"Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him." ~ 2 Corinthians 2:5-8
We cannot get away from the fact that the addict you know is hurting the church body that you are in. In addition, we cannot get away from the fact that He will need your church body to help him recover. Paul makes it clear here that people who are sinning regretfully are punished by the knowledge that others know about their mistake. This leads to good, motivating sorrow. But if the church does not turn and comfort him, then he can lose his hope altogether and have nowhere to run to in healing. That is the role that the church is destined to play in this process.
At this early point in the healing process, it is important to note that we will likely not know everyone who needs to be involved. But as a pastor you might ask, "how many of my people need this help?" The statistics say that most of your male congregation needs help with this addiction. With stats like that, how is the church going to appropriately turn into the kind of healing necessary to redeem these men. We hope that you will take very seriously the role of the church as hands of healing and support! And remember, we can help with situation be less overwhelming.
Look over our resources page.
We have compiled a page of resources that you are welcome to look over and learn from! You'll find books, Podcasts, YouTube playlists, and bible studies - all for your health and growth. We have found that the pursuit of understanding is one of the best ways to engender a natural healing, and we hope you find that too!
Pastors
A personal plea from one of your own.
The things you keep in your life grow.
I remember one day I was sitting in a friend's house with my small group when the subject of pornography came up. Strangely, we all had an encouraging discussion about the dangers of it and that we were there for one another if it became an issue. We were friendly and understanding. It was a good group. They would have accepted me. But even there, I didn't say anything. Even where it was safe, I didn't say anything...
Why?
The truth is... I liked my sin. I liked the way it solved my problems and made me able to perform. I imagine you have your reasons too. I paid the price more and more as I went, being more strung out and more on edge all the time. And yet, I told myself that I could manage this sin, or even lied to myself that I was "getting better all the time". My home life got worse, and my relationship with God was being peeled out of my hands... but I kept using porn to medicate myself. I used it to be able to keep going. I thought it would remain a secret.
God promises different.
"Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops." ~ Luke 12:1-3
My friend - you are a pastor of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Do not abide the leaven of the Pharisees. If you are in sexual sin, it will be exposed. God will expose it. It is making you miserable my friend. Sexual acting out is a hollow idol. But, God promises what will happen if you come to Him with it.
"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
~ Ephesians 5:8-14
In the end, I experienced both of these truths in real time. I experienced the searing pain of exposure, and the all the suffering that comes with that. And then I experienced God turning that pain into His glory, and He's still not done! Christ is shining on my life now, and I'll tell you, it's a whole other ball game. I feel loved, empowered and humble under his righteousness. Truly, these two elements go together. God exposes us so that He can shine on us.
But He's a longsuffering God! He is asking you to intentionally step into His grace instead of Him having to force you into the light. If you step into the light, he will receive glory, and you will receive HIM, and when the time comes people will be able to see that your works (your recovery) has been carried out in God (John 3:21). It's an amazing, wonderful, beautiful redemption of our soul. You can do it, because Christ has already done it.